More Research

Well, my research kicked into a different gear last week. I started attending a local schizophrenia support group. At first, the woman at the agency was a little dubious, concerned about whether my hoped-for novel would perpetuate stereotypes about mental illness. The person with schizophrenia is my protagonist. He is a Mormon missionary. When he starts his mission, his schizophrenia begins manifesting itself. He hears voices and sees things – both of which he takes as “revelations” from God. The novel tells the story of how he and the local church deal with his revelations and how he ends up getting treatment/meds and learning to live with schizophrenia. I’m not writing this book to “advocate” for schizophrenia – like some sort of “AfterSchool Special” -- but I want it to be highly accurate. I told her, yes, I know how people have many misunderstandings about mental illness. (Twenty years ago, when I had started taking my meds for OCD, I had to get over that stigma just to be willing to take psychotropic drugs. “Only crazy people take medicines for their bran,” I told myself. As an aside, when I first started taking the meds, clomipromene, it wasn’t legal in the US, so I had to drive to White Rock, B.C., every so often and then smuggle the meds back over the border.) Anyway, she asked to meet me first, which I did. Then she let me sit in on a support group meeting. It was amazing. It gave me insights that reading books never could. The people there talked about the “voices” they hear and their struggles to maintain sane-ness. I plan on going each week. Stay tuned for more updates.

Research, Cont.

Now I’m reading The Three Christs of Ypsilanti. It chronicles a study that was done on three schizophrenics in 1959 – right about the time I was born, as a matter of fact. All these of these men thought they were Jesus Christ. The purpose of the study is to see what these men do when they meet each other. The book unfolds over the course of twenty-five months. The researcher/author assembles his protagonists daily, at first with the intention of bringing about a collision of their “primitive beliefs,” in the hopes of shocking them into some kind of recognition of the truth. I’m about halfway through the book. The three men look forward to their meetings, but each is convinced that the other two are incorrect in their self-assessment. That is, contrary to their strongly held belief, they in fact are not Christ. Each thinks the other two men are deluded, in other words. (One of the men tells another one, “You are just an instrumental God.” That’s crazy talk.) It’s interesting to see these men deal with the cognitive dissonance they encounter through their meetings. Cognitive dissonance will feature in my novel, as the protagonist has his “world view” shaken.

Some of My Research

Next novel, I’m not going to tell anyone “I’m writing a novel” until I’m actually writing the novel – that is, putting prose on the page. The problem is, I’ve been telling folks for months that “I’m writing a novel,” yet I haven’t written Word One. It’s all about planning and research now. Right now, I’m studying schizophrenia. I’ve been reading technical books, memoirs, anything that will give me insight into the disease. It’s been great. (If you want a mind-blowing read, check out Memoirs of My Nervous Illness. It was written in 1900, before the term “schizophrenia” had even been coined. Back then, it was just referred to as “paranoia.”) Meanwhile, I’ve made an appointment to sit in on some group therapy sessions for local schizophrenics. I hope to make a friend there so I can try to understand how his brain works, or doesn’t. (I say “his” because I’ll probably seek out a male, as my schizophrenic, Mormon protagonist is male.) Next, my Mormonism research. This is going to be tougher. I’m actually going to try to start attending a Mormon church. I’ll tell them, “I’m trying to learn about Mormonism,” which won’t be a lie. They’ll just interpret that to mean, “I’m considering joining the Mormon church” – when it actually means, “I’m writing a book about a schizophrenic Mormon missionary.” Were I to tell them the whole truth, they’d stand bolt upright and declaim, “I cast thee out!” One thing I’ve found is that Mormons are very touchy about their religion – or about people who criticize their religion. They call them “anti-Mormons.” (Early on, I was trying to find out if anyone else had already written a book with my premise: a Mormon missionary who thinks the symptoms of his schizophrenia – hearing voices and seeing “visions” – are actually from God, not his broken brain. I sent an email to the editor of the BYU student newspaper and asked him if he had ever heard of a book like that. He said, ‘No I haven’t – and I certainly wouldn’t buy it!”) I’m not anti-Mormon. I’m just trying to tell a good story. But before I get ’round to actually telling that story, I have a ton of research to do. So, no, I’m not really writing a novel. Yet. Stay tuned.

Believing in Your Book

The other night, we all had our first dinner out with my daughter’s new boyfriend. Actually, her first boyfriend. So, of course, my daughter has already told him that her Dad is fascinating because he’s writing a novel. So, of course, the first question out of his mouth is “What’s your book about?” No matter how many times I tell people the fascinating premise for my novel—Mormonism, schizophrenia, time travel, magic mushrooms, sex in strange, dangerous places – I get a blank stare. I found it took me five minutes just to define terms for the boyfriend. First off, I had to explain what makes Mormon missionaries tick. Then I had to explain the symptoms of schizophrenia. (I have never been Mormon or schizophrenic, and don’t plan to be, so . . . so much for "writing what you know"!) So, after about five minutes, I had laid out the gist of the book for him, and he still gave me a blank, though polite, stare. (Can one stare politely? He did.) “Sounds interesting,” or something like that is what he said. Like I said, that’s the typical reaction when I explain the premise of my book, which should give me pause – and it does. But, in all the books I’m reading about writing your first novel, they say to find an idea you're passionate about. I’m passionate about this book – but I realize it may be awful tough to “pull off.” So . . . I’ve decided that I’m going to press on, following my passion. If I get to the end of the second draft, and it’s still un-sellable, I will chalk it up to experience.